I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
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I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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