i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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