He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
