So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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