He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You've changed since you got that strap on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
