Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
