I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
