First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
