Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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