Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
