So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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