I want to make a zoo with you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
