let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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