Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
