I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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