Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
