She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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