i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just cropdusted the office
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Randomize