Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
