That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
