i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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