im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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