I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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