no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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