There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize