I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
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some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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