did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
