Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
