Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
