I am puke
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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