THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
