Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
