I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
