Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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