My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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