Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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