just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize