last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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