flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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