it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize