It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
