adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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