I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
