He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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