Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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