I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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