Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
