Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
