I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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