dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
