sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
