i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im holly from the hills drunk
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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