Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
