haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
