Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
