OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
