i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
