wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize