I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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