i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
