Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
