Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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