Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have fence marks all over my body
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
