she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
