32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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