You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
