Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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