i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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