yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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